Attachment Parenting

My New Favorite Quote on Co-Sleeping and Attachment-Based Parenting Practices

CoolPix 145

“Prop them up now so they can stand on their own later…”

—Christina Robert

The other day on a mothering blog someone was wondering how to get her three year old to stop screaming in her crib at night when the lights were turned out. She said she didn’t want her child to get “attached to co-sleeping” because she was three (which I am assuming means she wants to prioritize independence and self-reliance).

I replied that her child might be screaming when she is put in her crib because she is frightened. She might need the emotional support of her primary caregiver right now. I think so many people believe that it is important to “toughen up” our young children; to prepare them for the harsh realities that the world has to offer; to make them independent and strong as soon as possible.

I think that one of the greatest misunderstandings about attachment theory and the parenting practices that arise out of these theories is that the parenting adults do not want to help in the creation of strong and independent children. In actuality, they do. Just not at the age of three and not in this manner.

Between birth and five there is so much is going on neurologically in a child’s brain that it is almost unfathomable. These critical years set the stage for a child’s patterns of behavior. Their brains are developing at a quick pace and they are learning important physcial, social and emotional skills–all this and so much more. These are the vulnerable and the impressionable years. These are the years that children need to learn they can trust adults to meet their needs. This will serve as the foundation for their interactions with other children and other adults in the future..

The commonly-held misconception that children who sleep in their parent’s bed, or whose emotional needs are met consistently year after year, will somehow end up dependent and needy, is far from the truth. What many people don’t understand is that by consistently meeting the emotional needs of you child in the early years, you are paving the groundwork for future success and independence.

Children whose needs are met consistently and sensitively are more likely to be strong, securely-attached, and confident young adults and adults.
Responding consistently and sensitively to a child’s cries and needs during infancy and beyond teaches the child that they can rely on someone to help them meet their needs at a time when they are very dependent on their caregivers for survival. In contrast, NOT responding consistently and sensitively can lead to anxious and insecure young adults. When their needs are not being met, they learn to not trust those who are most important to them in their lives.

On the blog, I summed up my response with the following advice and metaphor: “Prop them up now so they can stand on their own later.”
I think this quote and idea captures the essence of what attachment theory teaches us about child development and about parenting practices that best meet the needs of your child.

So keep on responding to your child. A child screaming in the dark is afraid. He or she may be experiencing anxiety from the caregiver separation. Being left alone in a mostly dark room is not comforting and could even be traumatizing depending on the length of separation. Find out what your child needs and help them to get the input or reassurance that they need.

Again, Prop them up now so they can stand on their own later. You’ll be happy you did. Your child will be happier, more confident and better able to form happy, healthy relationships as an adult. All the things you wanted for your child and more.

Potty Training and Giving up the Pacifier: A Relaxed (and Attached) Mom’s Perspective

My child is three years and three months old and she occasionally she pee-pees and poo-poos in her pants. Not every time, not all the time. But often enough.

Recently when my daughter started at a new preschool she was not potty trained as was required by the program. She was still in pull-ups full time and had not been showing any interest in moving towards full time use of the potty. At the daycare’s advice, I took the pull-ups away cold turkey and put her in underwear during the day. This worked to some extent but not completely.

To add another layer to this, she was not allowed to use her pacifier during naptime because the program was for preschoolers and not for toddlers. I’ve heard from others that this is not unheard of, that many preschool programs except a child to be completely potty trained and do not permit use of the pacifier. The potty training I can understand due to the license and the teacher-child ratio, but the pacifier at naptime? That I do not understand.

Having come directly from a smaller toddler classroom in a daycare where they put her on the changing table to change her, sat her on the potty once a day to practice, and let her have her pacifier whenever she was upset or taking a nap, this changes were a pretty big shock to her and seriously turned her world upside down.

In the end, she was not able to potty train fast enough and the amount of help she needed was more than the daycare could offer. I was also encouraged to raise my expectations for my child and to consistently send her the message that she is a big girl and to not offer help around pottying and dressing.

Some of society’s ideas about child development fly in the face of what I feel is right for my daughter. At three she’s been on the earth for approximately 820 days. At day 821 she’s supposed to give up the warmth and comfort and security that comes along with having a mother guide her and carry her through some pretty major developmental changes? She’s also supposed to give up her pacifier because she’s crossed some arbitrary line into preschoolhood rather than toddlerhood?

When I posted my potty training dilemma on Facebook, some provided sympathy, whereas others felt that I needed to examine why my daughter, at three years old, was so “late” in being weaned off the pacifier and why she wasn’t potty trained.

My approach to parenting is definitely an “It’ll happen when it happens” type of attitude, whereby the child takes the lead in his or her developmental changes. I believe that a child will hold onto what they need until they no longer need it and that a child will make their emotional needs known some way or another.

I also don’t see a problem with helping my child with new tasks that she is starting to master. There may be times when she can dress herself completely independently and times when she wants me to do it for her. When she’s tired or crabby or has had a long day, it is natural that she will want her mother’s assistance. She needs me as her object of security. There are times when she wants me to dress her and feed her and hold her hand and rock her. And I do—with pleasure. I do it because I know that I am meeting her emotional needs at that moment and that even though she is capable of pulling up her pants by herself, she simply wants the comfort of knowing her mother is there to do it for her when she asks her to.

Through all of this it has become even clearer to me that my views of parenting and childrearing, which are primarily based in attachment theory, don’t always mesh with the world at large, especially a world in which individuality and self reliance is valued over all else. In my view and practices, the relationship between me and my child is prioritized over independence. If independence is going to come at the cost of a sense of comfort then I choose comfort and security.

As for the transition to a new placement, I can only imagine that for my child,  this move to a center where they are better able to meet her needs will provide her with a renewed sense of being allowed to be who she is at this moment in time—to be the half baby/half big girl that she is; to be able to pee in the potty, or in her panties and to become a big girl over time and at her own pace.

As for now she’ll continue to pee in her pants from time to time and she’ll continue to suck on her pacifier when she’s feeling the need for comfort, and that’s okay with me. She’ll stay with some of these “baby things” until she’s good and ready to give them up completely. In the meantime I’ll help out by spoon feeding her when she’s tired and hungry, and pull up her pants when she wants me to. I’ll encourage her and teach her to do things on her own while remaining there as a safety net when she falls. On the way I’ll gently move her towards being the big girl that she’s on her way to becoming without any rush and without any urgency.

Mother-Baby Separation: The First Three Years

The following article is very much in line with my thinking about parenting. As a single mother who works, it is difficult to maintain this proximilty to my child. However, I value the co-sleeping time with my child and view it as valuable parenting and bonding time. Christina.

Mother-Baby Separation

By Dr. George Wootan, M.D., Author of Take Charge of Your Child’s Health

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/07/mother-toddler-separation.html

I’m going to open up a big can of worms here, one that gets me into as much trouble as my thoughts on weaning: mother-baby separation. Imagine for a moment, that you are at the grocery store with your six-month-old. She starts making hungry noises, and you look down and say reassuringly, “I’ll feed you in half an hour, as soon as we get home.” Will she smile and wait patiently for you to finish you shopping? Absolutely not! As far as your baby is concerned, either there is food now, or there is no food in the world. Right in the middle of the grocery store, famine has struck!

Babies and toddlers, up to the age of about 36 months, have little concept of duration of time. To them, there are only two basic times: now and never. Telling a young toddler that Mommy will be back in an hour, or at 5:00, is essentially the same thing as telling her that Mommy is gone forever, because she has no idea what those times mean.

Let me submit to you that the need for mother is as strong in a baby as the need for food, and that there is no substitute for a securely attached mother. When he’s tired, hurt, or upset, he needs his mother for comfort and security. True, he doesn’t need Mommy all the time, but when he does, he needs her now. If he scrapes his knee, or gets his feelings hurt, he can’t put his need on hold for two hours until Mommy is home, and the babysitter – or even Daddy – just won’t do as well as if Mommy was there.

So, yes, this is what I’m saying: A mother shouldn’t leave her baby for an extended amount of time until about the age of 36 months, when he has developed some concept of time. You’ll know this has begun to happen when he understands what “yesterday,” “tomorrow,” and “this afternoon” mean, and when your toddler voluntarily begins to spend more time playing away from you on his own accord.

Of course, if you know that your child always sleeps during certain times, you can leave her briefly with someone while she naps. If you do this, however, the babysitter should be someone she knows well, as there is no guarantee that she won’t choose this day to alter her schedule and wake up while you’re gone. This could be traumatic for her if the person is someone she casually knows, and doubly so if the babysitter is a stranger. It is important to make every effort to be available to her when she is awake and may need you.

I realize that not separating a baby from his mother for the first 36 months of life may be difficult. Living up to this presupposes that the family is financially secure without the mother’s paycheck, and, unfortunately, this is not a reality for some people. I would not argue that a mother who must work to support her family is doing less than her best for her children by working. However, I believe that many women return to work not out of necessity, but because they (or their spouses) want to maintain the two-income lifestyle to which they’ve become accustomed. These parents need to do a little soul-searching about what they really need and not sacrifice their child’s best interests.

If you must leave your baby for several hours a day, there are some things you can do to try and compensate for the separation. One of these, of course, is nursing until the child weans himself. Another is sharing sleep with your child until he decides he is ready for his own bed. If you have to spend 8 hours away from your baby, make an effort to spend the remaining 16 hours of each day in close physical contact. That extra effort will go a long way toward helping him feel secure an develop a healthy attachment with you.

In our family, we have found that many events that would require leaving our baby or toddler at home are the ones that we don’t particularly mind missing. We also have found that because our children have their needs attended to promptly, they are happy and secure, and we are able to take them to most social gatherings. I don’t mean to suggest that you’ll never encounter any problems, but generally, you’ll find that if you take care of your baby’s immediate needs by holding him, nursing him, and loving him, he’ll be a pleasure to have around, well into the toddler years and beyond.


George Wootan, M.D. is a board-certified family practitioner and medical associate of La Leche League International. He and his wife, Pat, are the parents of eleven children and the grandparents of twenty-one. Dr. Wootan has practiced medicine for 33 years with a focus on pediatric, family, and geriatric care and chronic illness. He speaks nationally on the subject of children’s health, healthy aging, nutrition, wellness and Functional Medicine.

 

High Needs Babies: Read Dr. Sears

My baby was most definitely a High Needs Baby. I think it would have been helpful if I had known about these types of babies before I had here! The only way to soothe her was to hold her and to swaddle her. The sling is still the best way to get her to settle down because she simply gets too overstimulated. The sling is our miracle worker and she is three!

Famous People Breastfeed Too!

“Singer Pink took a break on a photo shoot set to nurse her 1-year-old daughter Willow.”
 
“The singer took to Twitter to share that she and her husband Carey Hart subscribe to the AP philosophy”:

“I felt that the article in TIME on attachment parenting was unfortunately a tad extreme. I support attachment parenting 100%… And have a very happy and healthy little girl to show for it. It’s time we support what’s healthy (breast feeding) instead of judge it.”

http://blogs.babycenter.com/celebrities/06202012-pinks-breastfeeding-pic-is-simply-stunning/

I think this picture of Maggie Gyllenhall is my favorite of the celebrity breastfeeding pictures because this what the reality should and could be. It’s normal to breastfeed in public and we shouldn’t have to work hard to cover it up to protect those who are uncomfortable. Plus it casts a light of normalcy on a famed figure.

RELATED POSTS:

https://singlemomontherun.com/2012/05/16/breastfeeding-isnt-about-sex/
https://singlemomontherun.com/2012/05/10/baby-led-weaning-2/
https://singlemomontherun.com/2012/05/10/breastfeeding-and-attachment-parenting-time-magazine/

Breastfeeding Around the Globe: It’s Time the U.S. Caught up with the Rest of the World

A beautiful breastfeeding photo from the Xingu region of Brazil. Source: fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net via Kate on Pinterest

Breastfeeding in public is not a novel concept. It’s covering up and hiding the act that is a recent development. Here are some anecdotal insights into breastfeeding around the world.

For instance, did you know that: 

  • In Iran, “Even though women are forced to wear head covering in public, people breastfeed everywhere in public and it is considered not a sexual act. Similarly women breastfeed in front of their family members and friends openly.”
  • Ghana is a very conservative country, yet women breastfeed “without cover and without shame.”
  • In Ghana, If you don’t breastfeed your baby in public when it cries people will think the baby is not yours.
  • In Egypt “Not breastfeeding is sometimes frowned upon.”
  • In Ghana, “Bottlefeeding is for orphans, babies whose mothers cannot produce enough milk, upper class wannabes and expatriates. Ghanaian women breastfeed – everywhere and anywhere.” And that “…this is not the ‘Africans run around naked’ thing. There are very high levels of decency and even tight pants are frowned upon. But your baby’s gotta eat!”
  • In Kenya, “Breastfeeding in public is normal” and that “Breasts, especially of a nursing mother, are not regarded as sexual.”
  • In Kenya, Breastfeeding until 2 years old is quite common.
  • In Liberia, “People don’t have problem with mothers breastfeeding their kids anywhere in public. Mothers breastfeed wherever the baby request for food, they feed him/she to be satisfy. Our babies Mother don’t have problem of breastfeeding their in public.” They are proud of the fact that they are a mother.
  • In China “Breastfeeding is viewed as a positive thing, and breastfeeding in public is fine.”

As I mentioned, we (meaning those of us in the U.S. that feel that breastfeeding women need to hide in the bathroom) really need to catch up with the rest of the world. Economic and technological advancment should not result in behaviors that are actually backwards in movement. Sexualizing the breast to the point that feeding your child in public or in uniform, be it military or otherwise, is discouraged and looked upon in disdain is a social, ethical and moral crime.

For more anecdotes on breastfeeding around the world, visit http://www.007b.com/public-breastfeeding-world.php

Related Posts:
Kissing Kids on the Lips (www.singlemomontherun.com)
What is a Doula and Why Do I Need One? (www.singlemomontherun.com)
The Power of Breastmilk: Kills HIV Virus! (www.singlemomontherun.com)

Breastfeeding My Toddler: A Mamapedia Repost
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Photo by: Shutterstock

Breastfeeding My Toddler—Why I Let My Children Decide When to Stop, Not Society!

June 13, 2012
I was 23 when I had my first child, and 41 when I gave birth to my last. Fifteen years separate my second and third. While much had changed during the intervening 15 years, one thing most certainly has not—the stigma attached to breastfeeding. More specifically, breastfeeding a child over the age of one.
 
Just as I did with my first two children, I let my youngest daughter decide when it was time to stop nursing, not society!
 
When I was pregnant for the first time, I lived 500 miles from both my mother and my mother-in-law. In this case, it worked out well for everyone involved because I have never been particularly inclined to listen to well-meaning advice on anything, and I was not about to start when it came to motherhood. Not that I didn’t value their experience, I just didn’t want to be pressured to do things as they had done.
 
As I do with everything else important, I read up on the subject, and decided early on in my pregnancy that I would breastfeed my child. At the time, I gave little thought to how long I would breastfeed. Little did I know that in years to come, it would be the focus of much controversy.
 
As my first born grew, he ate everything in sight. At 21, he is now 6’3” and about 200 pounds, so I guess he was getting an early start! He took the breast, the bottle and baby food by the time he was about 6 months old. By about a year and a half, he essentially weaned himself off of the breast.
 
My second child, who came along when my son was almost three, would have nothing to do with a bottle. Nothing! It didn’t matter what I put in there—breast milk, formula, juice—she was only interested in the breast. As she neared her second birthday, I listened to more than my fair share of advice from people who informed me that she was far too old to be breastfeeding.
 
I’m not sure when we—meaning Americans—came up with the idea that there is a ‘cutoff’ age for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding past the age of two is far from uncommon in many other countries. According to the World Health Organization, the world average is 4.2 years and they recommend breastfeeding until at least two years of age. Additionally, anthropologists tell us that weaning naturally takes place for humans somewhere between two and a half and seven years. Obviously, I am in good company and not alone in my beliefs.
 
For the record, I did make some effort to wean my older daughter close to her third birthday. I made no such attempt, however, with my youngest. She weaned herself of all but bedtime nursing shortly after she turned three, and continued at bedtime for about six months more.
 
About the time each of my children turned a year old, I began to feel pressure from well-meaning family members to stop nursing. I also learned to brace myself for a debate if the subject of breastfeeding came up in conversation with other mothers. Aside from healthcare providers and a few very close friends, I think just about everyone thought I was crazy to continue breastfeeding a toddler. The bottom line is that it was the right for me, and for my children. Going against the grain isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but when it is something you truly believe in, it suddenly becomes much easier.
 
Have you had a similar experience to mine? Glad you continued or sorry you stopped? I would love to hear your thoughts.
 
—Proud mother of three happy, healthy children.

Thank you, Leigia, for sharing your experience with the Mamapedia community.

I Have Two Names Now: Mommy and Christina

To My Daughter, on Her Third Birthday

Three years and two days ago, I had one name: Christina.

I wore it and I wore it well. I studied, I worked and I played. I danced and climbed mountains and ran like the wind. I was free and there was no one to stop me. I loved life and it loved me.

But then one July a little seed was planted inside me and it grew. It grew and it grew and it grew. That little seed was you.

Then forty-two weeks later, on the nose, with a big belly about to explode, out you came, quicker than I thought. No long labor, no deliberation. It was time and the doctors and nurses knew, even before I did.

Faster than I could blink an eye you were in the world. And there you were. They held you up and I saw you over the sheet. You were a baby. My baby! I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

They measured you and weighed you and then they brought you to me. They put you naked on my chest, just as I had asked, right next to the sheet that separated you and me from the men and women that had so carefully and attentively brought you into the world.

You cried and suckled and took to the world like it was yours to keep.

You stayed beside me while I healed. I never let you out of my sight. You lay on me and in the crook of my arm while I nursed you, watched you sleep, and nursed you some more. I learned how to swaddle you and to change your diaper and to feed you. I learned how to care for you.

Most importantly, I kept you next to me as much as I could. Not only had I read all of the books but I knew in my heart that that was where you belonged.

The little you, who was also a big part of me, lay beside me for four long days before I could take you home. 

At first I was uncertain about this new, crying being who needed so much from me and without a pause. Is this what I had wanted? Is this what I had asked for? Is this what I had expected?

Despite all the preparation, I did not feel prepared.

Oh sure, I had the co-sleeper and the swings and the bottles and the bibs and the onesies. It was all there. But somehow you can’t buy the one thing that one really needs: Experience.

I don’t think one can ever be truly prepared for what lies beyond the birth of a first child.

People had told me my life would change but I didn’t believe them. How can a little baby like that be so much work, I’d ask? My life will be the same; I’ll just have a baby along for the ride from now on.

They would just shake their head and smile. They knew it could not be explained. And they knew I was in for a shock.

After some time of getting used to you, I started to change.

“Here, give her to me. I know what to do,” I’d say to those who didn’t know.

We worked together—she at being in the world, and me at learning to give 100% of myself to someone other than myself.

We’ve seen some good times and some bad times. We’ve worked through some smiles and some tears. I’ve watched as she’s reached many milestones – usually without any help from me. I’ve had many sleepless nights and have cleaned up a number of messes in the middle of those long seemingly endless times. I’ve seen her grow from a little baby, into a toddler, and soon into a little girl.

After three years, I think I have finally made the transition.

Yes, it has taken that long.

Up until a few months ago, I was only known as “Momma!” “Momma!” “Momma!” Usually with arms stretched high. “Up!” she’d demand.

A few weeks ago, for the first time, my little girl looked at me and said something like “Mommy, what you doing?”

My heart melted. I almost cried.

Where had she learned this word? Where did “Mommy” come from? I knew it was me, but I still couldn’t believe it….Me? Mommy? Yes, I am Mommy!

So now I have two names: Christina AND Mommy.

And there are some things Mommy knows how to do better than Christina could have ever done them.

Mommy knows how to choose a cloth diaper, fit it, change it, and clean it.

Mommy knows how to call the doctor in the middle of the night and how to put a wheezing baby on the phone.

Mommy knows how to put an infant and a toddler to the breast.

Mommy knows how to soothe a colicky baby like nobody’s business! I lovingly refer to her as “The Baby Whisperer.”

Mommy knows how to give really big hugs and how to kiss really little toes.

Mommy knows what it’s like to have a baby sleep on her chest all night long while keeping one eye open, just in case.

Mommy knows that a cookie can fix just about anything and that a song can soothe most of what ails.

And Christina knows a thing or two, too.

Christina isn’t climbing rocks much these days. Christina isn’t running as fast as the wind anymore.

But Christina knows that special feeling of having a baby kick the inside of her stomach, and that amazing “thump, thump” when the doctor checks for a heartbeat.

Christina also knows what it’s like to go to work every day while still remembering that there’s a very little girl out there who needs her Mommy.

And Christina knows when it’s time to take her baby from some other caring adult just because her girl will only be soothed by her.

And, most importantly, Christina knows to bend down when she picks her baby girl up from school because there she’ll be, a little girl now, grinning from ear to ear, running towards her, reaching out, calling “Mommy, Mommy!”

And Christina knows, that no matter how much she may miss parts of who she used to be, the little girl who calls her Mommy fills an amazing spot in her heart that no one else can ever replace.

Happy birthday, Baby Girl.

Love, Your Mommy.

Cosleeping and Biological Imperatives: Why Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone

http://bellissimom.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/1548/

http://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/

 

Breastfeeding Women in the Military

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/30/11955844-military-mom-proud-of-breast-feeding-in-uniform-despite-criticism?lite

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By Pamela Sitt

Is breast-feeding while in uniform conduct unbecoming to a military mom?

The debate over nursing in public got a new layer recently, when photos taken on an Air Force base began to circulate online. In the series of tasteful professional photos showing beaming moms as they nurse their kids, one jumps out: the photo of two servicewomen with their uniform shirts unbuttoned and hiked up to breast-feed.

“A lot of people are saying it’s a disgrace to the uniform. They’re comparing it to urinating and defecating [while in uniform],” says Crystal Scott, a military spouse who started Mom2Mom in January as a breast-feeding support group for military moms and “anyone related to the base” at Fairchild AFB outside Spokane, Wash. “It’s extremely upsetting. Defecating in public is illegal. Breast-feeding is not.”

It was Scott’s idea to ask photographer Brynja Sigurdardottir to take photos of real-life breast-feeding moms to create posters for National Breastfeeding Awareness Month in August. One of the moms photographed in uniform, Terran Echegoyen-McCabe, breast-feeds her 10-month-old twin girls on her lunch breaks during drill weekends as a member of the Air National Guard.

“I have breast-fed in our lobby, in my car, in the park … and I pump, usually in the locker room,” she says. “I’m proud to be wearing a uniform while breast-feeding. I’m proud of the photo and I hope it encourages other women to know they can breast-feed whether they’re active duty, guard or civilian.”

She said she’s surprised by the reaction to the photos, which also feature her friend Christina Luna, because it never occurred to her that breast-feeding in uniform would cause such a stir. 

“There isn’t a policy saying we can or cannot breast-feed in uniform,”  Echegoyen-McCabe says. “I think it’s something that every military mom who is breast-feeding has done. … I think we do need to be able to breast-feed in uniform and be protected.”

The Air Force has no policy specifically addressing breast-feeding in uniform, according to Air Force spokesperson Captain Rose Richeson, who added, “Airmen should be mindful of their dress and appearance and present a professional image at all times while in uniform.”

Robyn Roche-Paull has been advocating for such a policy since she left the U.S. Navy 15 years ago. Her challenges in breast-feeding her son while on active duty – she recalls her “flaming red face” upon being reprimanded for nursing in a medical waiting room – prompted her to write a book called “Breastfeeding in Combat Boots” as a resource for military moms. She is now an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant who remains close to the military through her active-duty husband and her blog for military moms.

“If you follow the comments on my blog, a lot of the comments are that the breast-feeding mothers are the ones who need to be covered up. Nobody sees anything wrong with bottle feeding mothers or fathers,” she says. “Asking mothers to feed a baby by bottle when they are together, simply because they are in uniform, can both affect the mom’s milk supply and her willingness to keep breast-feeding or stay in the military. It’s simply one more barrier they have to face.”

The criticism of the photo goes beyond the usual nursing-in-public debate, though. One commenter on Roche-Paull’s website who identified herself as a retired captain in the Marine Corps said she advocated for breast-feeding moms in the military and now, as a civilian, she nurses freely on base. However, she writes:

“I would never nurse in uniform. I took my child to the bathroom or a private office when her nanny brought her to me …. Not because I was ashamed of nursing, nor of being a mother. All the guys knew I pumped. The military is not a civilian job. We go to combat and we make life or death decisions, and not just for ourselves but for those we lead. The same reason I would never nurse in uniform is the same reason I do not chew gum, or walk and talk on my cell phone, or even run into the store in my utility uniform. … We are warfighting professionals. Women before us have worked too hard to earn and retain the respect of their male peers. I don’t want my Marines to look at me any other way than as a Marine. When I am asking them to fly into combat with me and do a dangerous mission, I do not want them to have the mental image of a babe at my breast. I want them to only see me as a Marine. Let’s be a realistic folks. We give up many freedoms being in the military…Breastfeeding in front of my fellow Marines was one of them.”

Another commenter on the blog replies:

“There is N-O-T-H-I-N-G more authoritative than a strong mother standing tall breastfeeding as she barks orders. It’s AWESOME that you’ve worked so hard promote breastfeeding, but I think you *might* be selling yourself short.”

The women in the photo have given some thought to the whole question of military versus maternal duties. To those who believe breast-feeding in uniform undermines the authority of a female officer, Echegoyen-McCabe says:

“I guess my thoughts are, if you don’t want to breast-feed in your uniform, you don’t have to. But you should have respect for those who do. … If anything, it should make people look at you as someone who is able to multitask.”

Pamela Sitt is a champion multitasker who lives in Seattle. She blogs about motherhood on her website, www.clarasmom.com.

Related Posts:

http://www.brynjaphotography.com/?p=4377 A photographer captures the beauty of breastfeeding women.